Parents won’t take Labour’s attack on private schools lying down

As citizens of an orderly state, we allow ourselves to be taxed. We fork out for council tax so that local services function. When it comes to income tax, some may grit their teeth, but we hope it gets funnelled towards the greater good. We accept, though perhaps dislike, ‘sin taxes’ on cigarettes and booze. We don’t pay VAT on virtuous things, such as books, private healthcare and opera tickets, because these should be available to the widest possible audience.

Which brings me to school fees: what could be more virtuous than educating your child in the best manner possible? Well, that’s not the thinking of the Labour party. Sir Keir Starmer will, should he win the next election, slap the Very Annoying Tax on school fees, thus putting your child’s French and history lessons on the same level as a packet of Benson & Hedges. It seems bizarre, not to say wrong-headed, but Starmer wants to discourage parents from using the best educational facilities in the country, if not the world.

Taxes have a demonstrable effect on people’s behaviour. In Scotland, the alcohol tax has made alcoholics poorer. Parents who can no longer afford to pay school fees may become richer, but what will they do with the money? Some will pack their children off to the best local state school, thus raising house prices further, and then tutor them at a cost of around £2,000 per month. Will these parents be more virtuous because they hide the advantage they’re giving their exhausted children?

Parents might make a dent in the mortgage, or create a fund for university fees (currently untaxed, as are nursery fees, which Starmer might like to consider), house deposits or retirement. A part of me wonders if that’s Labour’s game: let people pile up assets and, once Starmer’s been in power for a while, hello wealth tax! Your house has been paid off and your pension’s looking too big. How about we take some of it?

Maybe Labour wants us to become less virtuous. After all, if we spend that money on booze or designer clothes we’ll be contributing more to the realm’s tax coffers, and to hell with our health or our children.

This seems to be the end of all Labour tax policies. Throw yourselves on the mercy of the state and we’ll look after you, they say. Well, I’d rather not, thanks very much.

In the end, parental choice is the most important thing in education. Sometimes private schools are the only choice. It may escape Labour’s notice, but some people live in something called ‘the countryside’, where the nearest good school might be too far away and so boarding’s the only option. Or you might work abroad, and don’t want your child’s education disrupted. Maybe your child was bullied and you want a new start. Hell, you might be a massive snob and think you’ll be meeting dukes and film stars. (Though you won’t – you’re more likely to find those at the local comp. And if you think your children will gain cut-glass vowels from private schools, try meeting some ex-Westminster pupils.)

I don’t really care why you send your child to private school. The very fact that you are doing so, and thus contributing to the extensive and liberal education of future generations, should be applauded. Educational diversity is a boon, not a problem.

Labour suggests it will pipe the money it raises via these dubious means into state schools: so private-school parents will be paying twice over, firstly through not taking up a state-school place, and secondly through VAT. This is not fair. And as always, it will hardly affect the really rich; but it will have a massive effect on the rest of us.

There are plenty of ways that a Labour administration could raise money without filching from parents’ pockets. I recommend looking into the affairs of the internet behemoths (that’s you, Amazon and Google). These vast and ruthless companies could be encouraged to give directly to schools near their warehouses, or, in the manner of the ancient livery companies, set up their own. There are ways to encourage more access too: Labour could insist that private schools give out more bursaries and share their resources even further than they already do.

If this promised raid goes ahead, Starmer will go down in history as the first prime minister to tax the pursuit and attainment of knowledge. In other words, he’ll be taxing virtue. This is an affront to the contract between taxpayer and state, and a violation of our right to educate our children in whatever way we see fit. If Starmer wants a battle, he’s going to get one. Parents won’t take this lying down.