An odd affair, PMQs. Few blows were landed, no blood was spilled. The party leaders tussled over a handful of fifth-order issues.
Sir Keir Starmer suggested that the escaped terror suspect Daniel Khalife should have been held as a Category A prisoner. Rishi Sunak scolded the great barrister for not knowing that unconvicted suspects are rarely placed in the highest category. And the PM let slip that staffing levels at Wandsworth had recently risen by no less than 25 per cent. This means there were extra guards on duty and more officers patrolling the grounds when the Scarlet Pimpernel escaped, clinging to the underside of a milk-float. This makes his heroics all the more amazing.
Sir Keir tried half-heartedly to embarrass Rishi over the Chinese spy scandal. The PM gave an evasive answer and Sir Keir let it drop. What’s really going on here? The news that a Westminster superwonk might be on the Chinese pay-roll has obsessed parliament for well over a week. But this isn’t about security. It’s a case of vanity overload. MPs are thrilled to learn that a team of spymasters in Beijing are actually paying attention to the gossiping and back-stabbing that takes up the bulk of MPs’ time. The spy scandal may turn out to be a stunt organised by attention-starved MPs to promote Westminster’s status around the world.
Stephen Flynn of the SNP delivered a perfect impression of ‘the Scotsman with a grievance’. In advance of the session, he had asked a thermal engineer to guess how much the Sunaks pay to heat the swimming pool that takes up a small portion of their back garden. (The real figure is confidential – so this had to be a guess). Flynn compared the estimate with the state pension. Answer: the cost of heating the pool is higher. He demanded to know if Rishi will maintain the triple lock. But Flynn’s real target was the incoming government of Sir Keir which most MPs seem to accept as an inevitability. It’s a thorny one for Labour. The pension once represented 16 per cent of the average salary but now it’s 25 per cent. So elders are in clover. And the case for a cut is persuasive. But Labour has always insisted that shivering, underfed oldies are being starved to death in their ice-encrusted bungalows. They’ll have trouble refusing calls for a higher pension. Just capping it would be an achievement.
Richard Graham drew Rishi’s attention to the Garden of Democracy exhibition in Portcullis House which sets out ambitious new goals for the government. To most people, Portcullis House is just a cut-price tuck-shop for over-paid wasters but it’s also a showcase for global propagandists. The present exhibition was devised by a crack team of gasbags known as WDF or the Westminster Foundation for Democracy. Why their international agenda is being pursued in Britain with taxpayers’ money is anybody’s guess.
Derek Twigg complained that cancer patients who languish on waiting lists are more likely to be visited by an undertaker than a doctor.
‘Is he ashamed that people are dying on his watch?’
Rishi pointed out that striking NHS workers have boosted the mortality rate. His voice was bristling with hostility as he dared Twigg to tell voters what he and the Labour party really believe: ‘Patients should be denied access to live-saving care because of industrial action.’
For a brief moment this low-key session caught fire.
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