Society

Thursday

Dot Wordsworth

Dot Wordsworth: Is M&S really ‘Magic & Sparkle’?

‘Believe in Magic & Sparkle,’ says the Marks & Spencer television Christmas advertisement. The phrase is meant to suggest the shop, but it seems rather distant to me, either verbally or associatively (the shops, being lit by fluorescent tubes, are staring rather than sparkly). The popular name is Marks and Sparks, but merely as a rhyme. There is already an outfit called Believe in Magic. ‘Believe in Magic is a charity,’ its website says, ‘that spreads magic to the lives of seriously and terminally ill children.’ It takes them on outings for a treat. There is little chance of Believe in Magic being confused with Marks & Spencer. There is

Mary Killen

Dear Mary: How can I be ready when Cupid strikes?

Q. Walking at a local beauty spot the other day, I passed a handsome young man. We exchanged a few words and both laughed. Afterwards I wished there had been a way of getting in touch again. How can I ensure that such opportunities for romance do not go wasted in future? — Y.P., Malvern, Worcs A. Never leave home without carrying a dog lead in your coat pocket. If Cupid’s arrow should strike while you are out walking, you may, by this simple expedient, give your telephone number to any handsome young men you like the look of. Just take out the lead and inform the Adonis that you have

Toby Young Toby Young

Toby Young: Tristram Hunt, the Spectator’s ‘Newcomer of the Year’?

I love The Spectator’s Parliamentarian of the Year Awards. On the face of it, they’re a great advertisement for just how broadminded and sophisticated the editors of this magazine are. We’re able to rise above the political fray and generously acknowledge MPs on both sides of the House, regardless of which party they belong to. But at the same time, it’s also a way of drawing attention to the fact that we Tories aren’t as parti pris as our lefty opponents. Unlike us, they’re far too bogged down in the petty bickering of daily politics to pay tribute to their enemies. And in this way we’re able to score a

The Spectator

Letters: Cyclists reply to Rod Liddle, and an MP replies to Hugo Rifkind

Rod rage Sir: Like most cyclists, who also own a car and pay road tax, I enjoy a pedal along the lanes where I act with consideration for other road users, and the vast majority of them treat me likewise. Cycling in traffic is quite scary but now I know that Rod Liddle could be behind the wheel of an approaching car it becomes positively terrifying (‘Off your bike!’, 9 November). Anyone who can express such road rage on a keyboard is hardly fit to drive. How fortunate that he is part of a minority. Oh, and I wear Lycra for comfort, a helmet for safety and am 71 years

Taki

Taki: Why JFK wouldn’t have steered clear of Vietnam if he had lived

Everyone’s doing it, so I might as well jump in too. After all, I knew so many of the people involved, including JFK and his widow Jackie, and — sorry for the name-drop — even the actor Rob Lowe who plays the slain president in the film that’s coming out for the 50th anniversary of JFK’s assassination. I met Senator John Kennedy one year before he became president, at a party thrown by Alice Topping, a society dame of the time. The first and lasting impression was of his charisma and good looks. He was 39, the room was full of beautiful women, but he did take a minute or

Jeremy Clarke

Jeremy Clarke: Why has Ed Miliband hidden his comic genius from the world?

Theresa May must have been a little disappointed. Her government limousine rolled silently to a halt at the rear entrance to the Savoy hotel, she got out, and the only people around to witness her latest fashion statement were a top-hatted doorman and your Low life correspondent having a fag. She was again wearing what the Daily Mail describes as her ‘zany, patterned’ coat. I confided to the doorman how upset I was that she wasn’t wearing those shiny, over-the-knee S&M boots. Something about the doorman suggested a vast and perhaps dangerous hinterland that only a top hat and Regency-style coat could keep from spilling out into everyday life. He

The Spectator

Portrait of the week | 14 November 2013

Home EDF Energy said it would put up prices by 3.9 per cent. BT Sport spent £897 million on the rights to show Champions League football for three years, provoking a 10 per cent fall in BSkyB shares. The rate of inflation fell from 2.7 per cent to 2.2, as measured by the consumer prices index; as measured by the retail prices index, it fell from 3.2 per cent to 2.6 per cent. Unemployment fell by 48,000 to 2.47 million. Barratts, with 75 shoe shops, went into administration. Flybe, the Exeter-based airline, announced plans to cut 500 jobs. Plans were published for an airport on an artificial island off Sheppey in the Thames Estuary,

Melissa Kite

Melissa Kite: I don’t mean to make the transport secretary run across the Savoy ballroom, really I don’t

‘Do you know…?’ said the Tory MP I was sitting next to, as he tried to introduce me to the transport secretary. But the transport secretary didn’t even wait until the Tory MP said my name. The transport secretary starts turning a funny colour whenever he sees me. On this occasion he hurried past saying, ‘Ah ha ha yes ha ha ah, erm…’ Before he got past, I grabbed his hand and shook it. I suppose I wanted to assure him that the small matter of him putting a high speed railway past my parents’ back garden needn’t necessarily mean he has to run across the Savoy ballroom. Or look

Celia Walden

Celia Walden’s diary: Have I finally caught my husband in an affair?

For a minute I just stood there with my back against the wall, staring at the credit card receipt. Then I slid down into a crouching position on the kitchen floor. ‘So this is it,’ I thought to myself. ‘This is really going to be how I find out.’ I’d found the receipt in the front pocket of one of my husband’s suitcases on Tuesday morning. It was for dinner for two at the Four Seasons Hotel in Santa Barbara — a place he’d told me he’d never been. He’d had the Merlot and the rib-eye; she’d had the cucumber martini and a Caesar salad. I’m guessing that she waived

Alexander Chancellor

Alexander Chancellor: Can one be addicted to making emergency calls?

The police have been complaining a lot lately about frivolous calls to the emergency services. All over the country people in their thousands are calling 999 for the weirdest or silliest reasons. In Gloucestershire one man called to say that his wife was a werewolf, and another that he was being poisoned by a satellite controlled by witches. In Scotland someone rang to complain about the service he had received at a hamburger joint; another to ask where he could buy some milk. The police have been publicising such incidents in the hope that we will stop wasting their time in this way, but it seems most unlikely that we

Janet de Botton

Bridge | 14 November 2013

My plan this week was to write wittily, but modestly, about our rise from the bowels of relegation after the first two disastrous weekends of the Premier League. I was going to tell you how important it is not to give up, to have faith in yourself and your team-mates and to keep on fighting for every small victory. Well that was the plan. The reality is that we have gone far lower than the bowels of relegation — right to the very pits of the sewer, in fact. Guys — we are well and truly relegated! Alexander Allfrey’s National Team led all the way and won easily, so they

Columba

2139: Separated

Nine unclued lights can be separated into three groups; each group consists of three definitions of one of three words into which the remaining unclued light can be separated.   Across   1    Estate wild spree devastates (8) 6    Bird with tail obscured by country shrub (6) 10    Fellow, one feels sadly, holding role in retreat that can be clearly shown (12) 11    Old sweets, no end of lemon drops (5) 13    Measure day in life (7) 14    Operating illegally in desert in confusion (6) 16    Locate quote in speech (4) 17    Oval base designed for basins (8) 21    Cattle thieves

Columba

To 2136: Howdunit

Six of the unclued entries contained the Cluedo character surnames; the remaining unclued entries were therefore a murder weapon and location from the game.   First prize Michael Hawkins, Matlock, Derbyshire Runners-up Ferdinand Dobbs, London SW1; C.R. Haigh, Hassocks, West Sussex

Steerpike Steerpike

Prince Charles lights up India

It could have all gone very, very wrong for Prince Charles on the day he reached retirement age. The Prince of Wales has not even started the job he was born to do, yet as part of his training he is in India ahead of his officially deputising for the Queen as Head of the Commonwealth. Where back home a simple candle on top of a cake would have done the birthday justice, the owner of an antiques shop in Kochi put out 65 oil lamps for the visiting heir, one of which set fire to the Prince’s linen jacket. According to ITV News who witnessed the festivities, Charles quipped: ‘How quickly did you put me out?’

Sebastian Payne

The View from 22 podcast: Blackout Britain, the rudeness of John Bercow and breaking the immigration taboo

Is Britain on the verge of an energy crisis? On this week’s View from 22 podcast, the Mail on Sunday’s David Rose discusses how Britain’s choice green energy over efficient energy has put us on a path to disaster, and why it is politicians, not the Big Six energy firms, who are blame for the coming crisis. Would repealing the Climate Change Act make any difference? And will a significant policy change only come if the lights go out? Douglas Murray also examines Paul Collier, the man who has made it OK for the left to talk about immigration. After the negative reception of David Goodhart’s book on immigration, can

David Rose

Blackout Britain — why our energy crisis is only just beginning

BASF, the world’s largest chemical company, has been headquartered in Germany since before the country formally existed. Founded in 1865 by the industrial pioneer Friedrich Engelhorn, it still occupies the vast site on the banks of the Rhine at Ludwigshafen where its first dye and soda factories were built. A third of its staff are employed in Rhineland Palatinate. It is a global company, yet as German as Goethe and gummi bears. A few days ago Kurt Bock, the firm’s chief executive, warned that its Ludwigshafen plant may soon be forced to close, with BASF’s German jobs relocated elsewhere. The reason, he said, was Germany’s soaring energy costs and the

Aidan Hartley

Aidan Hartley: Kenya is special like no other African nation

As I write this, my hands are seared and bruised from holding a hot iron after branding our cattle. We have castrated our steers and piled up the testicles on fence posts to fry later. We fought the cattle to the ground. We pulled their tails and they bellowed. I feel so happy. The cattle brand sizzles into the flesh with a hiss and a cloud of smoke as it burns in the brand KH9, which has been the Hartley mark here in Kenya since 1936. Finally we might have a stud herd that can make a difference. This has all been going on in my absence, but I have

Joan Collins

Joan Collins’s notebook: Captain Phillips is great, but Gravity sent me to sleep

All eyes on the Philippines this week, and rightly so. Godspeed to those American and British ships making their way to the devastation in Leyte and Samar. It’s sad, though, that the global news machine can only process one disaster at a time. The world has all but forgotten the tropical storms and floods that have battered Acapulco in the past two months. It’s a lesser tragedy, with mercifully a much less significant death toll, but nevertheless it tears at my heart. Acapulco was my youthful stamping ground, the most glamorous, exciting, beautiful place I had ever been. At 22 I went on holiday there for a week and stayed