Society

Please stop clapping at funerals

The Happy Clappies – evangelical Christians who clap along to worship songs during church services – have been around since the 1980s. The slightly derogatory term was coined in 1985, and the practice is still going strong: you can hear it as you walk past any evangelical church on a Sunday morning. But in the past couple of years a new phenomenon has appeared: the Sad Clappies. These are the congregations who erupt into prolonged applause at funerals and memorial services. It’s rare to go to a funeral or memorial service these days where clapping doesn’t happen. It usually starts after the first of the (often rather too many) tributes.

The sinister tactics of Hope Not Hate

Of all the blights on our politics, there are few more tedious than the left-wing campaign group that masquerades behind some poorly constructed frontispiece. The Resolution Foundation – run by the gloriously named Torsten Bell – is a fine example. Torsten allows his publishers to call his Foundation ‘an enormously respected and influential economic research charity’. You may have heard of it, or you may be one of those who focuses your enormous respect elsewhere, but you will probably have seen the BBC and others regurgitate its press releases in lieu of doing actual journalism. The Resolution Foundation routinely discovers things like many people in Britain are poor or ill

Matthew Parris

This gay history is a work of genius

Columnists get unsolicited free copies of new books, it often seems by almost every post. They frequently come as publishers’ ‘uncorrected proofs’, before publication day. Publicists are of course hoping we might mention the book in something we write, and often there’s a friendly note inviting us to provide a quote for the book-cover’s inside sleeve – ‘Profound, moving and richly funny: best thing I’ve read all year’, that kind of thing. As attitudes to homosexuality became more accepting, the British public were always one step ahead You might think these offerings a boon: after all, nobody’s forcing us to respond or even keep the book, meanwhile we have a free

The secret to a (Paul) Hollywood tan

Anyone who is a guest on Good Morning Britain, the Today programme or the like has an agenda. They want to promote something – themselves, their new film, a charity, a political point of view. Of course, the presenters don’t like being used as stooges. And they have the power, because their show is live, of going off the agreed piste, and the guest has no way of stopping them. Last week I was on GMB with my husband John to talk about our new ITV show, Prue Leith’s Cotswold Kitchen, and to be fair, presenters Susanna Reid and Ed Balls were hugely welcoming and gave the show a great

Did the Athenians come up with no-platforming?

Hardly a day goes by without another story of academics clamping down on free speech. Dons at Buckingham University are the latest to express outrage at a proposed ‘heterodox’ (i.e. not woke) social science centre. In democratic Athens (5th century bc), free speech in the citizens’ assembly and the courts was called isêgoria, meaning ‘equality of speaking’, granting every citizen the same freedom to give his opinion as any other citizen. Free speech outside those arenas was called parrhêsia and meant literally ‘saying everything [you wanted to]’ i.e. total frankness. Some expressed surprise at this licence, shocked that even slaves and foreigners could openly speak their mind. But Athenians did

Magnolia will never go out of fashion

Last week’s news that a mature magnolia tree had been felled in a suburb of Poole, Dorset, because wood decay made it a threat to nearby houses, will have touched the hearts of gardeners everywhere. For, in the words of the plant collector E.H. Wilson, after whom Magnolia wilsonii is named, magnolias are ‘aristocrats of the garden’. This is scarcely hyperbole, since magnolias can trace their lineage back to the Pliocene epoch, and are famous for their noble stature, and beautiful, showy and often highly scented flowers. Although owners of large woodland gardens in Cornwall or Argyll may cavil at the newspaper description of this felled giant as ‘Britain’s tallest

How I ran away to Italy

A quarter of a century ago I somehow managed to get out of Paris where I had haunted a cheap hotel for months like a ghost trapped between this world and the next. I drove to Italy where I have lived ever since. I had a great contract with a famous publisher to write a biography of Benito Mussolini but had already spent the hefty advance and had yet to write a single word. On arrival in Italy, I did not even have enough money to pay the motorway toll. But the young woman in charge handed me a form to fill in and waved me through with a smile.

The art of speaking tradesman-ese

The plumber and the builder conversed at top speed, making a combined sound that was so strange it seemed likely only bats or aliens from outer space could make sense of it. The chap who had come to price our new bathrooms was gabbling in a thick west Cork accent, giving absolutely nothing away to me, while the builder boyfriend was machine-gunning him back in extreme cockney. However, while it sounded to the untrained ear like the two men were speaking different languages, it quickly became apparent that they were, in fact, completely in tune with each other and understood each other perfectly. Tradesman-ese is one of the world’s least

Cambridge International Open

In February the Cambridge International Open returned to the University Arms Hotel. In the penultimate round, the experienced Dutch grandmaster Sergei Tiviakov was half a point clear of a strong field, and looked to be coasting towards victory against his Danish opponent. Playing White in the position below, his bishop and two passed pawns outweigh Haubro’s extra rook. Sergei Tiviakov-Martin Haubro Cambridge International Open, February 2024 (see left diagram) Tiviakov, co-author of Rock Solid Chess (New In Chess, 2023) is the epitome of a safe pair of hands at the chessboard. His position is characteristically tidy, in that every unit is protected by something else. But the most efficient path to victory involves

Bridge | 2 March 2024

It might be time to start showing more respect to your dummy. Yes, you’re the boss, the brains, the living force behind the contract; dummy is just an inanimate row of cards at your disposal. But sometimes you need to bring it alive in your imagination, swap seats, see things from its upside-down point of view. Contracts which seemed bleak can suddenly have much brighter prospects. A dummy reversal basically involves ruffing dummy’s losers in the long trump hand (declarer’s), turning it into the short trump hand, and draw the oppo’s trumps with dummy’s trumps (convoluted as that sounds). I’m not one of those players for whom it comes naturally

No. 790

White to play. Borsos-Nawalaniec, Cambridge International Open, 2024. White found a devastating tactical shot. What did he play? Email answers to chess@spectator.co.uk by Monday 4 March. There is a prize of £20 for the first correct answer out of a hat. Please include a postal address and allow six weeks for prize delivery. Last week’s solution 1 Qe1!, then 1…g4 2 Qxe5# or 1…Ng4 2 Qe8# or 1…Ng6 2 g4# Last week’s winner Francis Ford, London W1

Toby Young

Joe Biden’s dog is out of control

I was shocked to read about the behaviour of Joe Biden’s dog, Commander. According to a CNN report based on freedom of information requests, he bit US Secret Service agents on 24 separate occasions between October 2022 and July 2023. There were also numerous other incidents involving the White House staff. These were not playful nips, either. The agents reported being bitten on the wrist, forearm, elbow, waist, chest, thigh and shoulder, with at least two bites requiring stitches. On one occasion, an agent was bitten so badly that tours of the White House had to be suspended for 20 minutes while a janitor mopped up the blood. During his

Spectator competition winners: Noël Coward on evolution

In Competition No. 3338 you were invited to submit an essay on the topic of evolution in the style of the writer of your choice. In a top-notch entry, Basil Ransome-Davies’s twist on Larkin’s ‘Annus Mirabilis’, Janine Beacham’s Edgar Allan Poe and Russell Chamberlain’s imagining of Kipling’s final Just So story, How Every Creature Got All Its Characteristics, earn honourable mentions: I have pondered in times numerous, as via fossils, skull to humerus,how our ancestors developed through six million years or more –and agreed with the solution, as per Darwin, evolution;thus, the change from apelike primates to bipedal I’ll explore.’Tis a tale of Homo sapiens, and all that came before

2643: Word-building

The unclued lights may be arranged to form a chain of words from three to eleven letters in length, each one being an anagram of its predecessor and one additional letter. One of these lights is hyphened. Elsewhere ignore an acute accent. Across 1    Radio show for impressionists no longer in the belfry (4,7) 11    Singer mirroring resounding soccer victory (6) 13    Delving into information, understands about saving (4,3) 15    Gang featured in Panama fiasco (5) 16    Small growth on head trimmed (5) 17    Showy decoration’s not new (6) 18    Disinclined to move back from centre, nightly (5) 21    Party craving senior member (5) 22    Mark follows sailor not to vote (7) 27    Australia

Rory Sutherland

The problem with self-checkout tills

Our national malaise arises in part from the poor state of many of Britain’s private services. No, not a misprint. I mean private services. Many on the political right berate public services, implying that were they only to be privatised everything would be sweetness and light. Yet modern technology now makes it all too easy for companies to treat their customers with just as much high-handed disdain and bureaucratic inflexibility as any state enterprise. Drive into a pub car park and forget to record your number plate and you’ll receive a fine of £100. Contesting this requires several hours of your time trying to find a receipt to prove you

Dear Mary: how can I duck a friend’s expensive birthday party?

Q. I must be the only person with this problem but I would really welcome a solution. I have a lovely neighbour in the flat below who happily has my dog to stay when I go away. She also holds a set of keys to my flat so she can check all is well. This time I came back a day earlier than expected and couldn’t understand why my neighbour seemed flustered and embarrassed to see me. Now I find that my home massage gun, which I use to de-tense my neck and shoulders, is missing from my work table. I can only conclude that my neighbour couldn’t resist borrowing it,