Stokoe

‘Thank God Snapchat’s back… they started asking me about my sex life.’

‘We couldn’t find a candle, so Nigel Farage gave us a cigarette to use instead.’

‘You’re a gift to a cartoonist, but try not to do all the work for them...’

‘It’s got power-assisted dying, just aim for the cliff edge and put your foot down...’

‘Well, I enjoyed your first day back at school, dear…’

‘I want every single brick collected as evidence and then we can use them to build houses later.’

‘Stop trying to start a civil war, dear, and get back to your crossword.’

‘I’m training Dad to vote Labour...’

‘How would you like to pay – cash, card, or through the nose?’

‘I bet you £1,000 that Rishi Sunak won’t be prime minister next year.’

‘Which mode will annoy the neighbours more?’

‘It’s an XL Bully, the last of this breed…’

‘You’ll meet a tall, dark stranger online. Unfortunately he’ll live in the Ulez zone.’